Towards A More Genuine Self.
By dianharvey, Aug 1 2015 10:35AM
I have been asked why I wish to share such personal reflections in a blog on my professional site. “Won’t people be frightened off or see you as incapable of helping them?” “Should you not be portraying a professional image, communicating a message that you are ‘sorted’?”
“Only the wounded healer can truly heal (Yalom, 1997)” springs to mind as I question my own intentions on why I want to share a little of myself here.
I hear how isolated and alone people feel as they struggle with their experience. Alienated in a world that seems to continue without understanding, or maybe even noticing. My small voice says, “I notice and you are not alone.”
I wear masks to fit in, the masks of another more acceptable self. The difficulty with that, in my experience, is that by second-guessing what I think is expected of me, I find myself feeling even more unsure of what mask to wear! By portraying an image I hope endears me to the world, I forget who I am and loose who I was meant to be.
I have spoken of the echoes of my past experiences jumping into my present, clouding my perception and judgement. We all have them. Self-reflection helps me reconnect and ground myself in a less distorted reality. The psychological tension I feel manifesting in a myriad of ways - anxiety, self-doubt, recrimination, condemnation and defensiveness to name but a few - can ease.
Are the echoes of my past influencing my here and now experience? Is that ok with me? As I explore, I bring into my consciousness thoughts, values and beliefs that I can hold up and examine. I can question their validity. Do they fit with me now? I give myself a fighting chance to be able to choose what thoughts and feelings belong to my experience in that moment, a fighting chance to think, feel and behave differently, if I wish to.
You might find that by asking yourself these same questions - allowing your self the time to notice and process, in the moment - to be beneficial and empowering in your continuum of life. This is the essence of the process that unfolds within the therapeutic relationships I have the honour of being part of.
We are intricate, complex Beings with a strength and resilience often going unnoticed. Each of us is unique and yet we are similar, paradox abounds. Life flows and is ever changing. I find it helpful to remind myself of that often.
My attempt at blogging is a sharing of my own explorations into the search for my genuine self, my truth in this moment. It is an attempt to connect - as a genuine, fallible human being - to you dear reader.
My hope is that this will be helpful to some.
Yalom, I (1997) Lying on the Couch: A Novel. New York: HarperPerennial
#counselling #blog #self-reflection #psychotherapy